Are you in love or in lust with someone? After you get past the dating and infatuation stages of a relationship, you’ll discover that falling in love is really falling into reality. Both parties become aware of their mate’s flaws, pet peeves, habits and emotional swings. If a man becomes angry, stressed or provoked, he can become physical, violent or explosive. Men are socialized to attack, defend, protect and provide. If a woman becomes angry, stressed or provoked, she may fight back with words. Women are socialized early in their verbal and communication skills. Sometimes her words can be stinging and a strong weapon to defend, protect and attack. Both parties should be aware of each other’s boundaries and limitations to prevent any harmful and negative confrontations. It takes two to tangle. If you find yourself in a power struggle always trying to get the last word or to control the other, it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. Falling into reality in a relationship means you will have to learn how to communicate in a way that builds bridges vs. building walls.
Oswald Chambers offers these insightful words to distinguish between Love and Lust:
“Lust means literally – ‘I must have it at once, and I don’t care what the consequences are.’ Lust in its highest and lowest form simply means I seek for a creature to give me what God alone can give and I become cruel, vindictive, jealous and spiteful to the one from whom I demand what God alone can give. Lust disputes the throne of God in us.”
Lust is more than a desire for sexual gratification. It can invade our aspirations to serve God, and it can creep into our motivation to excel and achieve. It always looks for a shortcut and may cause us to insist on carrying out our own plans when God’s Word and His guiding Spirit clearly indicates another direction.
A tender yet uncompromising guide in distinguishing Lust from Love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is nor proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is nor easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Lust insists on having it now. Love longs for nothing less than the Christ-like spirit of obeying God’s will while waiting for His time and His way.
Lust won’t wait, Love will
Self-Reflection: What kind of lust am I struggling with most today? What will I gain if I get what I want today? What will I lose? Where can I get the kind of love that waits for God’s will and His way?
Wise Words: “Speak without offending and listen without defending.”